"I poop bigger than you."
Kate,
I realize you have probably received countless marriage proposals in the last few months but, you should know that none of them will love you like I will. In addition to being a loving husband, you will also be able to walk all over me and tell me to do whatever you want me to do because I am so in awe of you that it borders on legitimate fear. Anyone who can devour that much food in that little time has clearly been put on earth by God for a special purpose and will most likely have other super-human powers like mind control or super-strength or something like that. Despite the fact that you can no doubt crush me like a toothpick, I still pledge my eternal love and devotion to you. Please do not let any of these other suitors attempt to impress you as they are sure to do with there fancy cars and well-paying jobs and other such inconsequential trappings. In the words of Jeff Tweedy, "I'm the man who loves you."
With love and somewhat creepy affection,
Sean
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14 comments:
I'm at a loss for words. But why isn't she wearing a helmet?
Dude, that's messed up. Booker is mildly retarded which is why he has to wear that helmet. Kate, on the other hand, is not.
Just kidding...I have no idea why Booker is wearing the helmet...probably so he won't sustain a concussion when he falls flat on his face from a heart attack. The guy weighs over 4 bills, yo.
Interestingly enough, I go to school with Kate. In fact, she lived down the hall from me this past year. Furthermore, she and I are good buddies.
We just find it all kinds of crazy that she's become a world-renowned celebrity for eating a cheeseburger on a whim, but she's really not complaining or anything.
Maybe I'll put in a good word for you.
Thanks, Christoph. I don't cook...not well, anyway...but I promise to make her happy.
hey sean.. kate here. a friend of mine sent me a link to your blog... lol you sound like a very down to earth, fun guy. ;O) If you were ever going to be in the area, Id say we should get dinner sometime (though im not sure you could afford me) hah just kidding. nice talkin to ya. byeee
Um...I....uh....you....is it....nah!
Kate? I'm so nervous, I don't know what to say.
Your work at Denny's Beer Barrel Pub in 2005....it made me want to be a competitive eater...I freakin' worship you, man.
hahaa! it was nothinggggg. I still dont understand why the big fuss lol.. I ate a burger I didnt cure cancer. ;O) though im glad everyone finds it so amazing.. its cool. ttul.
I just don't understand how you could do it faster than Mr. Booker when you are 115 lbs. and he is 420 lbs...and you did it in under half his time! That's phenomenal!
wow, get a life dude .. i just came to check out the site, and i ended up starting an account just to let you know that you needed to calm down and stop trying to marry kate. Stop being nervous because its rediculous and stop obsessing over this! i would never put in a good word cuz ur weird
You're right, brownman. Thanks for taking the time to 1) create an account and 2) tell me how "rediculous" I am. Good thing I have people like you who don't even know me but are kind enough to look out for my best interests. Almost made an ass out of myself there. Phew. That was a close one. I can't believe I "actually thought" that Kate would marry me if I wrote this. I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!! GOSH!! Now I know who my real friends are...why didn't you guys tell me how stupid I was acting? Why? I guess brownman is the only one who cares about me enough to tell me the truth.
good job dude, way to pour out your heart, weird boy -(someone has something to prove)
What does that even mean?
i don't know, why don't you look at how pathetic you and your "blog" entries are and figure it out ... btw, everyone i know is getting a real kick out of your idiotic comments and how weird you are so keep it up!
Glad I could entertain. I think you should start your own blog and just post entries about how stupid, pathetic and weird I am. I guess since you already have a super-hero name, I will have to change mine so we can be nemeses. I suppose I could go with "Weird Boy" since you have already called me that...although, I'm not sure I like that one so much. How about "The Blue Raja" like Hank Azaria in Mystery Men? What do you think, everyone that brownman knows?
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