Either my mechanic forgot to pay his phone bill or he is finding new ways to avoid me. My last call to Doyle Sharp, mechanic extraordinaire, five minutes ago yielded the following recorded message:
"We're sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and dial again."
[blink]........[blink]........[jaw drop]
How the mighty have fallen. The older I get the more I realize how much of a mistake it is to put people up on a pedestal. Since it is the day after Memorial Day, I would like to take this opportunity to submit a list of notable falls from grace in the life of Sean McDonell. Here they are in chronological order (more or less):
• Jimmy Swaggert
• Marv Albert
• Rob Lowe
• Hugh Grant
• Sean McDonell
• Kobe Bryant
• Martha Stewart
• Carl's Jr.
• Doyle Sharp
It is important to be able to forgive...but it is hard to forget. I got over most of these let downs...Kobe still bugs me.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
What If?
I seriously can't think of anything to post about. I looked at almost every web site that I frequent and did not see one single thing to spark my interest. Rather than do two days in a row of political posts (since that seems to bore some people), I figured I would introduce a new feature called "What If?" If nothing else, this will be a chance to take a brief look at what goes on inside my head. So here goes:
• What if vegetables tasted like ice cream and ice cream tasted like vegetables? Would the fat people all get skinny and the skinny people all get fat?
• What if alcohol and cigarettes made you live longer? Would all the people who demonize drinkers and smokers start doing it too?
• What if fully clothed people were the most sexually stimulating? Would everyone walk around naked?
• What if dog food tasted like filet mignon? Would people eat it?
• What if there was no such thing as a biological clock? Would women be more selective in choosing their mates? Or men, for that matter?
• What if Canada was an Islamic dictatorship? Would we invade it?
• What if bacon ceased to exist? Would there be riots and mass hysteria?
• What if fathers were the parent that nursed? Would men be so obsessed with breasts?
• What if we really did live in a world like in The Matrix? Would you want to be free?
• What if there actually were super heroes in the world with super powers? Would they wear tights?
• What if you didn't need any sleep? Would you daydream twice as much?
• What if Disneyland never existed? Where would the happiest place on earth be?
• What if teachers were paid as much as lawyers? Would the CBEST be much harder?
• What if cows were an endangered species? Would we all convert to Hinduism?
• What if dinosaurs still existed? That would be cool.
• What if everyone on earth spoke the same language? Would there still be racism?
• What if Michael Jackson is innocent? How is that possible?
• What if Bono was the president of the World Bank? Would he erase all the debts?
• What if Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected Governor of California? Oh wait.
• What if Scott McClellan actually answered questions? Would the press corps' collective head explode?
• What if they could predict a crime before it happened like in Minority Report? Would there cease to be any crime?
• If a tree falls in the woods...oh forget it.
Hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday weekend. Don't think about this stuff too much...I sure didn't.
• What if vegetables tasted like ice cream and ice cream tasted like vegetables? Would the fat people all get skinny and the skinny people all get fat?
• What if alcohol and cigarettes made you live longer? Would all the people who demonize drinkers and smokers start doing it too?
• What if fully clothed people were the most sexually stimulating? Would everyone walk around naked?
• What if dog food tasted like filet mignon? Would people eat it?
• What if there was no such thing as a biological clock? Would women be more selective in choosing their mates? Or men, for that matter?
• What if Canada was an Islamic dictatorship? Would we invade it?
• What if bacon ceased to exist? Would there be riots and mass hysteria?
• What if fathers were the parent that nursed? Would men be so obsessed with breasts?
• What if we really did live in a world like in The Matrix? Would you want to be free?
• What if there actually were super heroes in the world with super powers? Would they wear tights?
• What if you didn't need any sleep? Would you daydream twice as much?
• What if Disneyland never existed? Where would the happiest place on earth be?
• What if teachers were paid as much as lawyers? Would the CBEST be much harder?
• What if cows were an endangered species? Would we all convert to Hinduism?
• What if dinosaurs still existed? That would be cool.
• What if everyone on earth spoke the same language? Would there still be racism?
• What if Michael Jackson is innocent? How is that possible?
• What if Bono was the president of the World Bank? Would he erase all the debts?
• What if Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected Governor of California? Oh wait.
• What if Scott McClellan actually answered questions? Would the press corps' collective head explode?
• What if they could predict a crime before it happened like in Minority Report? Would there cease to be any crime?
• If a tree falls in the woods...oh forget it.
Hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday weekend. Don't think about this stuff too much...I sure didn't.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
John Bolton: U.N. Reformer or U.N. Destroyer?
As I was reading through some of the White House press briefings from the past month or so, I noticed that McClellan's formulaic response to questions about John Bolton's appointment as the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations sought to accomplish one thing: to paint Bolton as a "strong voice for reform at a time when reform is needed at the United Nations." Questions of his temperament are dismissed as unsubstantiated claims or simply spun into some sort of testament to his ability to get things done. This got me thinking. What does appointing someone like that to the U.N. accomplish?
To answer that question, I was forced to think about how you would go about reforming the U.N. It seems the Bush administration's biggest complaint about the U.N. is its ineffectiveness. So the reform they are hoping to see must be some sort a move towards more "effectiveness." So how do you make an entity such as the United Nations more effective? I would imagine their idea of effectiveness would include making sure resolutions are taken seriously by nations such as Iraq, Iran and North Korea. This is a legitimate concern. I suppose the effectiveness would also correspond to a decrease in corruption such as the Oil For Food scandal. This is also a good idea.
The part of the plan that confuses me is how the White House expects John Bolton (or anyone else, for that matter) to change any of this. Last time I checked there is no governing body presiding over the United Nations. They don't answer to the United Planets or the United Galaxies as far as I know. So if there is going to be reform in the U.N. it is going to have to come about by some sort of collective agreement or effort. The most effective way to do that is to appoint an ambassador that is especially good at getting people to work together towards a common goal.
Phil Jackson as coach of the Lakers from 2000-2002 is a great example of this. He was able to get Shaq and Kobe to work together in order to put together three championships. Appointing John Bolton to the U.N. is like hiring Bobby Knight to coach those same Lakers. Do you think Shaq or Kobe or any NBA player would respond well to their coach choking them during practice? I didn't think so.
If Bolton serves as our ambassador, the end result will most likely be the worsening of our national image. Does anyone else see it as a red flag when he has to be removed from the delegation to the six-party talks with North Korea because of his blunt statements about the country and its leader? Does this sound like an especially good diplomat? I think this quote of his from 1994 says it all:
"There is no such thing as the United Nations. There is only the international community, which can only be led by the only remaining superpower, which is the United States."
How do you appoint someone as an ambassador to the United Nations who doesn't even believe in it? He isn't going to reform the U.N., he is going to dissolve it. Bush has already shown how little regard he has for the U.N. by invading Iraq. His nomination of John Bolton appears to be his ultimate insult.
When the U.N. ceases to exist, something tells me we will have John Bolton and George W. Bush to thank for it.
To answer that question, I was forced to think about how you would go about reforming the U.N. It seems the Bush administration's biggest complaint about the U.N. is its ineffectiveness. So the reform they are hoping to see must be some sort a move towards more "effectiveness." So how do you make an entity such as the United Nations more effective? I would imagine their idea of effectiveness would include making sure resolutions are taken seriously by nations such as Iraq, Iran and North Korea. This is a legitimate concern. I suppose the effectiveness would also correspond to a decrease in corruption such as the Oil For Food scandal. This is also a good idea.
The part of the plan that confuses me is how the White House expects John Bolton (or anyone else, for that matter) to change any of this. Last time I checked there is no governing body presiding over the United Nations. They don't answer to the United Planets or the United Galaxies as far as I know. So if there is going to be reform in the U.N. it is going to have to come about by some sort of collective agreement or effort. The most effective way to do that is to appoint an ambassador that is especially good at getting people to work together towards a common goal.
Phil Jackson as coach of the Lakers from 2000-2002 is a great example of this. He was able to get Shaq and Kobe to work together in order to put together three championships. Appointing John Bolton to the U.N. is like hiring Bobby Knight to coach those same Lakers. Do you think Shaq or Kobe or any NBA player would respond well to their coach choking them during practice? I didn't think so.
If Bolton serves as our ambassador, the end result will most likely be the worsening of our national image. Does anyone else see it as a red flag when he has to be removed from the delegation to the six-party talks with North Korea because of his blunt statements about the country and its leader? Does this sound like an especially good diplomat? I think this quote of his from 1994 says it all:
"There is no such thing as the United Nations. There is only the international community, which can only be led by the only remaining superpower, which is the United States."
How do you appoint someone as an ambassador to the United Nations who doesn't even believe in it? He isn't going to reform the U.N., he is going to dissolve it. Bush has already shown how little regard he has for the U.N. by invading Iraq. His nomination of John Bolton appears to be his ultimate insult.
When the U.N. ceases to exist, something tells me we will have John Bolton and George W. Bush to thank for it.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Quickie
Work has been busy today. I am using one of my get-out-of-jail-free cards. Here are some Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey:
I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise it makes no sense.
I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat." It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.
I bet when they weren't fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye-pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings.
If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.
That's all I got today.
I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise it makes no sense.
I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat." It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.
I bet when they weren't fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye-pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings.
If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.
That's all I got today.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I think I found my wife (Part 5)
So I already gave you a quick weekend recap. What I didn't mention about the Youth Olympics was how I fell in love with someone there. I don't know her name or really anything about her...just that she could probably ruin me with one arm tied behind her back. She was one of the Wushu performers and, I think everyone who was there would probably agree, she was the best. At one point in her performance, she did some jumping-twisting-kicking type maneuver after which she landed perfectly in the splits...and when I say perfectly, I mean P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y!!! It was like she was floating. I think it was at that moment that I realized that she and I were meant to be together. Everyone else was good but, you could actually notice a few mess-ups here and there...but not her. No, no. She was flawless. The Miss Chinatown beauty queen and her princesses were there...eh...they were ah-ite. But this girl was like a mini Zhang Ziyi...and I think we all know my reputation with the ladies of the Shaolin persuasion. Anyway, here she is in all her pink beauty:
Woh eye knee
Woh eye knee
Monday, May 23, 2005
Kate Was Here
BurgerGirl's true identity has been confirmed and I can now honestly say that a Guinness record holder has commented on my blog (and invited me to dinner).
Check out the "Links" section of katestelnick.com where it says "Blog Entries" and I think you will come to realize, as I did, that BurgerGirl and Kate are one and the same.
You all thought it was me messing around, didn't you? No doubt you had reason to after Kiki's shenanigans.
As exciting as this may be, I realize that I have to take it slow and not get my hopes up too much. I have been hurt by competitive eaters before...mostly when they accidentally step on my foot. There is the added element of whether being so much in the public eye would eventually tear us apart much like Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. Time will tell.
Check out the "Links" section of katestelnick.com where it says "Blog Entries" and I think you will come to realize, as I did, that BurgerGirl and Kate are one and the same.
You all thought it was me messing around, didn't you? No doubt you had reason to after Kiki's shenanigans.
As exciting as this may be, I realize that I have to take it slow and not get my hopes up too much. I have been hurt by competitive eaters before...mostly when they accidentally step on my foot. There is the added element of whether being so much in the public eye would eventually tear us apart much like Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. Time will tell.
5 out of 6 ain't bad
My cousin turned 29. Yay. We went to the Dodger game. Yay. We ate Dodger Dogs. Yay. The Angels won. Boo.
The Youth Olympics happened. Yay. They served Panda Express for lunch. Yay. The Southern California Wushu Academy people performed. Big time Yay!
I went to church. Yay.
Mike D turned 28. Yay. We ate a significantly large amount of sushi. Yay. Good times were had by all. Yay. The evening's festivities ended after 1 a.m. after which I had to drive to Santa Monica to get my golf clubs out of my car then drive back and get 5 hours of sleep before waking up for golf. Boo.
We played golf. Yay. It was 95 degrees. Boo.
I chose to take a nap instead of play hockey last night. Yay?...no Boo...whatever.
I came in to work today. Boo.
The Youth Olympics happened. Yay. They served Panda Express for lunch. Yay. The Southern California Wushu Academy people performed. Big time Yay!
I went to church. Yay.
Mike D turned 28. Yay. We ate a significantly large amount of sushi. Yay. Good times were had by all. Yay. The evening's festivities ended after 1 a.m. after which I had to drive to Santa Monica to get my golf clubs out of my car then drive back and get 5 hours of sleep before waking up for golf. Boo.
We played golf. Yay. It was 95 degrees. Boo.
I chose to take a nap instead of play hockey last night. Yay?...no Boo...whatever.
I came in to work today. Boo.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Baseball, Olympics, Church, Sushi, Golf, Hockey...
...did I miss anything?
Today is my cousin's birthday so we are going to the Dodgers/Angels game....that's the L.A. Dodgers vs. the Anaheim Angels.
Tomorrow, we take the kiddies to the Youth Olympics.
Then I have church.
Then a bunch of folks are going to sushi for Mike D's birthday (which is actually on Sunday).
Then we are playing golf here on Sunday morning.
Then I am playing hockey on Sunday night.
Something tells me that I am going to be a little tired on Monday.
Today is my cousin's birthday so we are going to the Dodgers/Angels game....that's the L.A. Dodgers vs. the Anaheim Angels.
Tomorrow, we take the kiddies to the Youth Olympics.
Then I have church.
Then a bunch of folks are going to sushi for Mike D's birthday (which is actually on Sunday).
Then we are playing golf here on Sunday morning.
Then I am playing hockey on Sunday night.
Something tells me that I am going to be a little tired on Monday.
Things that have been done in 28 days or less
• The Seven-Day War
• Athens 2004 Olympic Games
• I found my first job out of college
• The non-leap-year month of February
• Coalition forces reached Baghdad
• Jesus rose from the dead
• Poland fell to the Nazis
• William Henry Harrison nearly completes his tenure as President
• Brian Dunkleman's career
• Thanksgiving to Christmas on most years
• Renewed my drivers' license at the DMV
• New Pope was elected
• U.S. invaded Afghanistan after 9/11
• KCRW pledge drive
• Gestation period of a green frog
• DSL was reactivated in our apartment
• Episodic therapy healing time for genital herpes sores when taking Valtrex
• The Cuban Missile Crisis
• Steve Fossett circled the globe in a balloon
• The Tour de France
• The creation of the Earth
THINGS THAT HAVE TAKEN LONGER THAN 28 DAYS:
• The repair of my car
• Athens 2004 Olympic Games
• I found my first job out of college
• The non-leap-year month of February
• Coalition forces reached Baghdad
• Jesus rose from the dead
• Poland fell to the Nazis
• William Henry Harrison nearly completes his tenure as President
• Brian Dunkleman's career
• Thanksgiving to Christmas on most years
• Renewed my drivers' license at the DMV
• New Pope was elected
• U.S. invaded Afghanistan after 9/11
• KCRW pledge drive
• Gestation period of a green frog
• DSL was reactivated in our apartment
• Episodic therapy healing time for genital herpes sores when taking Valtrex
• The Cuban Missile Crisis
• Steve Fossett circled the globe in a balloon
• The Tour de France
• The creation of the Earth
THINGS THAT HAVE TAKEN LONGER THAN 28 DAYS:
• The repair of my car
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Canciones
At the risk of sounding like I am trying to impress people with my musical knowledge, I figured I would write about some of the songs I have heard recently that I really like. I have been trying to think about what to write on for the last hour and a half and can't think of anything so I figured this was as good a concept as any to post about. Admittedly, this is a bit of a rip-off of Jason's song suggestions that he writes about every so often...but, since Jason is kind of my hero, it only makes sense that I would try and emulate him. And just to make it different enough so as not to be sued, I will suggest 11 songs instead of Jason's usual 6 since 11 is my favorite number. Anyway, here are some songs that make me smile, cry, dance, sing-a-long or all of the above.
"Like Eating Glass" - Bloc Party
Papa-san suggested I check these guys out at Coachella...unfortunately, I didn't see her comment until it was too late so I missed 'em. Bummer. I bet they were good. This song makes me tap my feet.
"Club Foot" - Kasabian
I have Keek to thank for getting me hooked on these guys. We also missed them at Coachella. I suppose that sort of thing is bound to happen when you have that many groups there. This song makes me want to make a kick ass music video for it.
"Home" - Lou Barlow
His voice reminds me of someone...just can't think of who. This song makes me want to drive on some highway in the Midwest at dusk with the top down.
"Just Like Movie Stars" - Matt Sharp
This is the same Matt Sharp that used to be in Weezer and The Rentals. This song does not sound anything like Weezer or The Rentals. It's the perfect song to be playing in the background at a coffee shop while you read a book and sip your over-priced beverage.
"A Requiem for a Requiem" - Out Hud
Every song I have heard of these guys I have liked. This song would be perfect to listen to while you are roller-blading at Venice Beach...do people still roller-blade?
"Artificial Light" - Rainer Maria
I went to see these guys at The Glasshouse in Pomona with Huge and his sister a long time ago. They are awesome live. I forgot all about this song because the album that it is on was stolen from my car a while back along with about 150 other CDs. I recently saw a link to it on one of the music blogs I frequent. Yay. It just makes me want to turn up the volume as loud as I can stand.
"Back To The Life" - Spoon
Another band I missed at Coachella. I don't know why but this song seems like it should be in a car commercial. Too bad I am not in advertising.
"Must Be You" - The Sun
This song makes me smile.
"Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley
This song makes me cry.
"We've Been Had" - The Walkmen
I want to ride a bike through Central Park in New York when I listen to this....for the first half of the song....and then walk through the Met for the second half.
"Hello Tomorrow" - Squeak E. Clean
I guess this was in an Adidas commercial or something...I never saw it. Karen Oh from The Yeah Yeah Yeahs does the vocals (I think)...and it's just so catchy. This is another one of those songs that makes me want to make a music video for it. If I am walking when I am listening to it, I find myself consciously trying to step in time with the beat. I guess I kind of do that with every song though.
I am not sure whether any or all of these songs are available on iTunes. I found most of them on various music blogs and got them for free. If you look hard enough, you should be able to find them. If you ask nicely, I may even point you in the right direction. Enjoy.
"Like Eating Glass" - Bloc Party
Papa-san suggested I check these guys out at Coachella...unfortunately, I didn't see her comment until it was too late so I missed 'em. Bummer. I bet they were good. This song makes me tap my feet.
"Club Foot" - Kasabian
I have Keek to thank for getting me hooked on these guys. We also missed them at Coachella. I suppose that sort of thing is bound to happen when you have that many groups there. This song makes me want to make a kick ass music video for it.
"Home" - Lou Barlow
His voice reminds me of someone...just can't think of who. This song makes me want to drive on some highway in the Midwest at dusk with the top down.
"Just Like Movie Stars" - Matt Sharp
This is the same Matt Sharp that used to be in Weezer and The Rentals. This song does not sound anything like Weezer or The Rentals. It's the perfect song to be playing in the background at a coffee shop while you read a book and sip your over-priced beverage.
"A Requiem for a Requiem" - Out Hud
Every song I have heard of these guys I have liked. This song would be perfect to listen to while you are roller-blading at Venice Beach...do people still roller-blade?
"Artificial Light" - Rainer Maria
I went to see these guys at The Glasshouse in Pomona with Huge and his sister a long time ago. They are awesome live. I forgot all about this song because the album that it is on was stolen from my car a while back along with about 150 other CDs. I recently saw a link to it on one of the music blogs I frequent. Yay. It just makes me want to turn up the volume as loud as I can stand.
"Back To The Life" - Spoon
Another band I missed at Coachella. I don't know why but this song seems like it should be in a car commercial. Too bad I am not in advertising.
"Must Be You" - The Sun
This song makes me smile.
"Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley
This song makes me cry.
"We've Been Had" - The Walkmen
I want to ride a bike through Central Park in New York when I listen to this....for the first half of the song....and then walk through the Met for the second half.
"Hello Tomorrow" - Squeak E. Clean
I guess this was in an Adidas commercial or something...I never saw it. Karen Oh from The Yeah Yeah Yeahs does the vocals (I think)...and it's just so catchy. This is another one of those songs that makes me want to make a music video for it. If I am walking when I am listening to it, I find myself consciously trying to step in time with the beat. I guess I kind of do that with every song though.
I am not sure whether any or all of these songs are available on iTunes. I found most of them on various music blogs and got them for free. If you look hard enough, you should be able to find them. If you ask nicely, I may even point you in the right direction. Enjoy.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Hypocrisy Watch 2005: Toiletgate
I considered posting about this a couple of times but didn't just because everyone and their mother already had done so. After I read this article, however, I had to vent. Specifically, after this first sentence of the article:
"The White House pressed Newsweek on Tuesday to go beyond a retraction and 'help repair the damage' to the image of the United States in the Muslim world after the magazine mistakenly reported that a Pentagon investigation had found that interrogators at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, tried to flush a Koran down a toilet."
Let me just preface my tirade by admitting that I do believe it is important for the media to be responsible in its reporting as well as mindful as to the potential effects of misinformation. That being said, let me just say that the only thing that prevented me from bursting out in uncontrolled laughter after reading that first sentence is the fact that the issue involves people dying and that is never funny.
Where do I even begin with this? First of all, how is Newsweek supposed to help repair the damage to the images of the U.S. in the Muslim world when the White House keeps invading Muslim countries? Maybe Newsweek and the rest of the media should have helped our image by not reporting on Abu Ghraib. God knows that story didn't help improve U.S.-Islam relations. Actually, I have a better idea...why doesn't the media just stop reporting altogether and just let Scott McClellan be the only source of news? We can have a state run media infrastructure with state run newspapers and state run news channels and everything that goes out will be filtered through the White House to make sure that nothing that goes out reflects badly on the U.S. How does that sound? Hmmm...that sounds kind of familiar....where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, COMMUNIST CHINA!
Do you know what made the U.S. look bad? When our President, not the media, lied about WMDs in order to gain support for a war that he chose to wage despite protests from everyone on the U.N. Security Council except Britain...or when he didn't fire Rumsfeld after Abu Ghraib...or when he decided that the U.S. could do whatever it wanted under the guise of self-protection.
The irony is that the Koran probably was flushed down the toilet just like Bush probably did skip out on his Texas Air National Guard duty. If Lynndie England gets a mistrial after what she did, do you really think anyone at Gitmo is going to think twice about doing anything remotely questionable? But no one is going to look at it that way because the White House is going to make this all about media responsibility...and the media will comply as evidenced here, here, here, here, here and here.
"The White House pressed Newsweek on Tuesday to go beyond a retraction and 'help repair the damage' to the image of the United States in the Muslim world after the magazine mistakenly reported that a Pentagon investigation had found that interrogators at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, tried to flush a Koran down a toilet."
Let me just preface my tirade by admitting that I do believe it is important for the media to be responsible in its reporting as well as mindful as to the potential effects of misinformation. That being said, let me just say that the only thing that prevented me from bursting out in uncontrolled laughter after reading that first sentence is the fact that the issue involves people dying and that is never funny.
Where do I even begin with this? First of all, how is Newsweek supposed to help repair the damage to the images of the U.S. in the Muslim world when the White House keeps invading Muslim countries? Maybe Newsweek and the rest of the media should have helped our image by not reporting on Abu Ghraib. God knows that story didn't help improve U.S.-Islam relations. Actually, I have a better idea...why doesn't the media just stop reporting altogether and just let Scott McClellan be the only source of news? We can have a state run media infrastructure with state run newspapers and state run news channels and everything that goes out will be filtered through the White House to make sure that nothing that goes out reflects badly on the U.S. How does that sound? Hmmm...that sounds kind of familiar....where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, COMMUNIST CHINA!
Do you know what made the U.S. look bad? When our President, not the media, lied about WMDs in order to gain support for a war that he chose to wage despite protests from everyone on the U.N. Security Council except Britain...or when he didn't fire Rumsfeld after Abu Ghraib...or when he decided that the U.S. could do whatever it wanted under the guise of self-protection.
The irony is that the Koran probably was flushed down the toilet just like Bush probably did skip out on his Texas Air National Guard duty. If Lynndie England gets a mistrial after what she did, do you really think anyone at Gitmo is going to think twice about doing anything remotely questionable? But no one is going to look at it that way because the White House is going to make this all about media responsibility...and the media will comply as evidenced here, here, here, here, here and here.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
$500 is waiting for me in North Hollywood
Unfortunately, I will probably never see it. There is a Honda dealership that is looking to buy back 95 Accords from their owners and they are offering 5 bills just to come and hear their offer. The catch: they are only offering this for four days...Thursday through Sunday. 22 days ago when I dropped off my car at Doyle's I would never have dreamed that I still wouldn't have it back after over three weeks. Today my expectations have fell to an all-time low as to when I will get it back...certainly not by Thursday or Friday...that's just crazy talk. That's okay...I didn't really need 500 dollars.
WAYS I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE SPENT $500:
• 500 songs on iTunes
• digital camera
• put #11 on my authentic Dodgers jersey
• round trip flight to Mexico City for my cousin's quinceniera
• early Christmas gifts
• bookcase
• maid service for our apartment
• all-you-can-eat sushi
• liposuction
• drum set
• Save Toby
• Dodger tickets
• IRA
• tsunami relief
• TiVo
• cable service to make sense of the TiVo purchase
• external hard drive
• XBox Live
• bigger bed
• bigger TV
• striped shirts
• sequencing software
• iPod mini (for running)
• bill for car repair
and the most likely of all:
• down payment for a new car
WAYS I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE SPENT $500:
• 500 songs on iTunes
• digital camera
• put #11 on my authentic Dodgers jersey
• round trip flight to Mexico City for my cousin's quinceniera
• early Christmas gifts
• bookcase
• maid service for our apartment
• all-you-can-eat sushi
• liposuction
• drum set
• Save Toby
• Dodger tickets
• IRA
• tsunami relief
• TiVo
• cable service to make sense of the TiVo purchase
• external hard drive
• XBox Live
• bigger bed
• bigger TV
• striped shirts
• sequencing software
• iPod mini (for running)
• bill for car repair
and the most likely of all:
• down payment for a new car
There IS a God...
...or at least someone with a slightly above average I.Q. working at FOX. Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy. I am fairly certain this is due, in no small part, to my efforts....although, I have no idea why or how a show that has won 5 emmys including Best Comedy Series could remain on the bubble for so long. Did you all sign the Loyalty Oath? Well, DID YOU?! It would probably be a good idea to go ahead and buy the First Season on DVD if you haven't already....and if you haven't signed the Loyalty Oath yet, so help me God, I WILL beat you.
"In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." -Theodore Roosevelt
"In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." -Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, May 16, 2005
I Heart Kate Stelnick
My first wife has a fan web site devoted to her...and it has pictures! Click on her picture to view the site.
"I poop bigger than you."
Kate,
I realize you have probably received countless marriage proposals in the last few months but, you should know that none of them will love you like I will. In addition to being a loving husband, you will also be able to walk all over me and tell me to do whatever you want me to do because I am so in awe of you that it borders on legitimate fear. Anyone who can devour that much food in that little time has clearly been put on earth by God for a special purpose and will most likely have other super-human powers like mind control or super-strength or something like that. Despite the fact that you can no doubt crush me like a toothpick, I still pledge my eternal love and devotion to you. Please do not let any of these other suitors attempt to impress you as they are sure to do with there fancy cars and well-paying jobs and other such inconsequential trappings. In the words of Jeff Tweedy, "I'm the man who loves you."
With love and somewhat creepy affection,
Sean
"I poop bigger than you."
Kate,
I realize you have probably received countless marriage proposals in the last few months but, you should know that none of them will love you like I will. In addition to being a loving husband, you will also be able to walk all over me and tell me to do whatever you want me to do because I am so in awe of you that it borders on legitimate fear. Anyone who can devour that much food in that little time has clearly been put on earth by God for a special purpose and will most likely have other super-human powers like mind control or super-strength or something like that. Despite the fact that you can no doubt crush me like a toothpick, I still pledge my eternal love and devotion to you. Please do not let any of these other suitors attempt to impress you as they are sure to do with there fancy cars and well-paying jobs and other such inconsequential trappings. In the words of Jeff Tweedy, "I'm the man who loves you."
With love and somewhat creepy affection,
Sean
Friday, May 13, 2005
Saved!: A Review
I came home last night after losing some money at poker and popped this movie in the ol' laptop. What a treat! I had heard good things about it from a number of people. I also wanted to see it because I have had a smallish size crush on Jena Malone ever since Donnie Darko even though she is almost 9 years my junior. What can I say...I go for the younger girls.
This movie was particularly enjoyable because it is set in a private Christian high school and because I went to a private Christian high school. Before you go freaking out at the thought that my school was anything like American Eagle (the school in the movie), I should point out some key differences. While there were various similarities between the two, none...and I repeat, none of the students were anywhere near as insane as Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore's character). The over-the-top Jesus-centric cliques were also absent from my experience as well as prayer circles asking God to de-gay-ify classmates. Now that I think of it, the easier way to compare the two might be to point out the similarities since there were fewer of those.
We had assemblies but, they were called chapel. Um.......yah....that's about it.
The movie stood out to me for one reason in particular: it did not attempt to lump God into the same boat as the ridiculously hypocritical Christians claiming to follow him. It was interesting to see Jena's character, Mary struggle with her faith when faced with the dire nature of her circumstances. There was one scene in the middle of the film that was especially poignant where she perfectly captured the anguish that someone in her position must have been going through...she absolutely nailed it. There have certainly been times in my life where I have felt the very same confusion/pain/anger...to see the look in her eyes in that scene brought it all back for a brief moment. Powerful.
Mandy Moore was hysterical yet, at the same time, tragic only in the sense that there are probably people in the world who really do think like her character did. Unbelievable. Mary-Louise Parker played Mary's mom and did an okay job...my crush on her really gained momentum when she appeared on The West Wing and Angels in America even though SHE is more than 10 years my senior. Macaulay did a decent job of playing Hilary Faye's brother.
As I said, I really enjoyed the film and would recommend it to anyone other than those people looking into sending their kids to a private school. I am not saying that there aren't schools like American Eagle somewhere (Texas, perhaps), but you shouldn't let the movie be the grounds for your decision making. I loved my time in high school despite the occassional cheesiness of it and I am extremely grateful to my parents for the sacrifices they made to pay the money to send me there. I still maintain a number of friendships that started there and hold a special place in my heart for many of the teachers. Go Saints!
Oh yeah...8 out of 10 for the movie. Have a great weekend, pee-poes.
This movie was particularly enjoyable because it is set in a private Christian high school and because I went to a private Christian high school. Before you go freaking out at the thought that my school was anything like American Eagle (the school in the movie), I should point out some key differences. While there were various similarities between the two, none...and I repeat, none of the students were anywhere near as insane as Hilary Faye (Mandy Moore's character). The over-the-top Jesus-centric cliques were also absent from my experience as well as prayer circles asking God to de-gay-ify classmates. Now that I think of it, the easier way to compare the two might be to point out the similarities since there were fewer of those.
We had assemblies but, they were called chapel. Um.......yah....that's about it.
The movie stood out to me for one reason in particular: it did not attempt to lump God into the same boat as the ridiculously hypocritical Christians claiming to follow him. It was interesting to see Jena's character, Mary struggle with her faith when faced with the dire nature of her circumstances. There was one scene in the middle of the film that was especially poignant where she perfectly captured the anguish that someone in her position must have been going through...she absolutely nailed it. There have certainly been times in my life where I have felt the very same confusion/pain/anger...to see the look in her eyes in that scene brought it all back for a brief moment. Powerful.
Mandy Moore was hysterical yet, at the same time, tragic only in the sense that there are probably people in the world who really do think like her character did. Unbelievable. Mary-Louise Parker played Mary's mom and did an okay job...my crush on her really gained momentum when she appeared on The West Wing and Angels in America even though SHE is more than 10 years my senior. Macaulay did a decent job of playing Hilary Faye's brother.
As I said, I really enjoyed the film and would recommend it to anyone other than those people looking into sending their kids to a private school. I am not saying that there aren't schools like American Eagle somewhere (Texas, perhaps), but you shouldn't let the movie be the grounds for your decision making. I loved my time in high school despite the occassional cheesiness of it and I am extremely grateful to my parents for the sacrifices they made to pay the money to send me there. I still maintain a number of friendships that started there and hold a special place in my heart for many of the teachers. Go Saints!
Oh yeah...8 out of 10 for the movie. Have a great weekend, pee-poes.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
"Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey
Jack Handey was a writer for SNL for many years including the early '90s when my brother and I were die hard fans. I can't remember exactly when they started doing the "Deep Thoughts" bumpers but, it was around that same time. They always had some peaceful footage in the background of nature or windmills or something and they were always one of the funniest recurring bits. Hyperion even published some books which had some stuff that, to my knowledge, never actually made it on the air. I have a couple of these books and thought it would be fun to put a "deep thought" up here every once in a while in honor of Jack. More than likely I will use these as an excuse for a post on days that I can't think of anything better like the other filler posts I mentioned in the Quarterly Report. Hopefully, you will find these as humorous as I do...but, even if you don't, I am still going to put them up. Deal with IT. So here is today's deep thought by Jack Handey:
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.
I kind of need that
Check it.
Fizer: "Here is your frozen custard, sir."
Stowers: "Thanks."
Fizer: "No problem." [to self] "Now, back to my search for my missing finger tip."
Stowers: "Cool! I got a finger tip in my custard."
Fizer: "Oh hey..uh..do you think I could have that? I've been looking for it."
Stowers: "No way...this is awesome...I am taking it to school for show and tell."
Fizer: "But, I kind of need it so the doctors can reattach it."
Stowers: "Finders keepers, sucka."
Fizer: "Damn...I knew I should have checked the frozen custard machine..I thought my hand felt kind of funny after I made that last one."
SEVERAL DAYS LATER...
Stowers: "Uh...you can have this back now...I'm bored with it."
Fizer: "Nevermind. You can keep it." [under breath] "Jerk."
Fizer: "Here is your frozen custard, sir."
Stowers: "Thanks."
Fizer: "No problem." [to self] "Now, back to my search for my missing finger tip."
Stowers: "Cool! I got a finger tip in my custard."
Fizer: "Oh hey..uh..do you think I could have that? I've been looking for it."
Stowers: "No way...this is awesome...I am taking it to school for show and tell."
Fizer: "But, I kind of need it so the doctors can reattach it."
Stowers: "Finders keepers, sucka."
Fizer: "Damn...I knew I should have checked the frozen custard machine..I thought my hand felt kind of funny after I made that last one."
SEVERAL DAYS LATER...
Stowers: "Uh...you can have this back now...I'm bored with it."
Fizer: "Nevermind. You can keep it." [under breath] "Jerk."
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The Shock and "Ahh" Campaign Continues
This picture is kind of old, but it has been a while since her majesty has made an appearance so I figured I would give you all a Chinese/Mexican/Irish treat:
It looks like she is holding her own head in her hand...weird.
I don't know who that grease-ball on the right is but, the hottie on the left is my niece.
I know...I know...I have no shame.
It looks like she is holding her own head in her hand...weird.
I don't know who that grease-ball on the right is but, the hottie on the left is my niece.
I know...I know...I have no shame.
Hallelujah
Have you heard the song "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley? It makes me want to lay down on the beach at night and look at the stars while weeping.
Wow...that was feminine.
Wow...that was feminine.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Arianna on Blast
Not that she wasn't before, although she has been somewhat off the radar since her short-lived bid for governor (I would have voted for you, darling, had you stayed in the race). I realize that this is literally yesterday's news but, being the huge Arianna Huffington fan that I am, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to give you all a heads up on the launch of her new collaborative blog/web site The Huffington Post.
It features celebrity posts from the likes of Harry Shearer, Larry David, Walter Cronkite, and of course herself. There are something like 300 authors! Here's a little WaPo piece on it. Good stuff.
I freaking love Arianna Huffington!
It features celebrity posts from the likes of Harry Shearer, Larry David, Walter Cronkite, and of course herself. There are something like 300 authors! Here's a little WaPo piece on it. Good stuff.
I freaking love Arianna Huffington!
Monday, May 09, 2005
Reviews
Believe it or not, I saw three movies over the weekend...one in the theater and two rentals. I also was given a car to use until mine is fixed (Thanks, Chad) so you won't have to hear me complain anymore...until I get the bill.
Movie #1 of the weekend was The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which I saw with Eliz. Two words: Sam Rockwell. I have yet to see a movie with him where he did NOT absolutely make the movie. My brother and his friends in high school were really big Douglas Adams fans (so much so that at we actually had t-shirts made for the movie of which my brother had written a screenplay) so even though I didn't read any of the books, I felt like I was somewhat familiar with the story. Still, even if I wasn't, it's worth going just to see Sam's performance...freaking hysterical. The movie starred Martin Freeman as "Arthur Dent" who also plays "Tim" in the BBC series "The Office"...the significantly more humorous original version of the series of the same name that NBC recently aired. It also featured Mos Def as "Ford Prefect" who actually did a decent job...although, the only other thing I have seen him in is The Italian Job in which he also was decent so I don't really have any reason to expect a bad performance. The performance that made me laugh almost as hard as Sam Rockwell's was the voice of "Eddie the Computer"...it wasn't until I looked online that I found out that it was done by Tom Lennon who was one of the writers for The State, which remains the best show to ever air on television. Tom was probably my favorite writer/cast member of that show. Anyway, I give the movie a 7 out of a possible 10.
Movie #2 of the weekend was Love Actually which, coincidentally, had some of the same actors as HHGG...Freeman (who plays a porn-stand in), Bill Nighy (who plays the aging rockstar) and Alan Rickman (who plays the cheating husband)....Rickman was the voice of "Marvin the Paranoid Android" in HHGG. Eliz mentioned Nighy and Freeman's characters in this movie during our HHGG viewing. It just so happened that I had a rental copy of Love Actually at home that I hadn't watched yet. I had heard good things about it but I had my doubts. I would love to preserve my manhood and say that it was just another chick flick but, that wouldn't be very honest of me...and if we don't have honesty, we have nothing. I really liked this movie. I know this, coupled with my previous sappy post, may seem like a pathetic attempt to get some female adulation but, I assure you that I would much rather garner that by some other means...trust me. I think the reason I liked it so much was because it just felt real. There was anticipation, euphoria, fear of rejection, betrayal, loss...they got it all...the good and the bad. My favorite storyline was Liam Neeson's character with his son. Okay...I am going to stop writing about this before I cross the line from endearing to girly...that is, if I haven't already.
Movie #3 of the weekend was Bush's Brain...yeah! Politics! So manly! Convinced? I won't go into too much detail about this one other than to say that Karl Rove freaking scares me. I don't know how many of the claims in that movie can be proven...but, let's just say that I am not going to be writing anything bad about him specifically for fear of being put in prison. If you enjoy politics and you find Bush 2's success puzzling, you might enjoy this film. It's short, too...only 80 minutes.
The rest of my weekend involved youth club stuff, church, sushi and Franco madness for Mother's Day. Good times.
Movie #1 of the weekend was The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which I saw with Eliz. Two words: Sam Rockwell. I have yet to see a movie with him where he did NOT absolutely make the movie. My brother and his friends in high school were really big Douglas Adams fans (so much so that at we actually had t-shirts made for the movie of which my brother had written a screenplay) so even though I didn't read any of the books, I felt like I was somewhat familiar with the story. Still, even if I wasn't, it's worth going just to see Sam's performance...freaking hysterical. The movie starred Martin Freeman as "Arthur Dent" who also plays "Tim" in the BBC series "The Office"...the significantly more humorous original version of the series of the same name that NBC recently aired. It also featured Mos Def as "Ford Prefect" who actually did a decent job...although, the only other thing I have seen him in is The Italian Job in which he also was decent so I don't really have any reason to expect a bad performance. The performance that made me laugh almost as hard as Sam Rockwell's was the voice of "Eddie the Computer"...it wasn't until I looked online that I found out that it was done by Tom Lennon who was one of the writers for The State, which remains the best show to ever air on television. Tom was probably my favorite writer/cast member of that show. Anyway, I give the movie a 7 out of a possible 10.
Movie #2 of the weekend was Love Actually which, coincidentally, had some of the same actors as HHGG...Freeman (who plays a porn-stand in), Bill Nighy (who plays the aging rockstar) and Alan Rickman (who plays the cheating husband)....Rickman was the voice of "Marvin the Paranoid Android" in HHGG. Eliz mentioned Nighy and Freeman's characters in this movie during our HHGG viewing. It just so happened that I had a rental copy of Love Actually at home that I hadn't watched yet. I had heard good things about it but I had my doubts. I would love to preserve my manhood and say that it was just another chick flick but, that wouldn't be very honest of me...and if we don't have honesty, we have nothing. I really liked this movie. I know this, coupled with my previous sappy post, may seem like a pathetic attempt to get some female adulation but, I assure you that I would much rather garner that by some other means...trust me. I think the reason I liked it so much was because it just felt real. There was anticipation, euphoria, fear of rejection, betrayal, loss...they got it all...the good and the bad. My favorite storyline was Liam Neeson's character with his son. Okay...I am going to stop writing about this before I cross the line from endearing to girly...that is, if I haven't already.
Movie #3 of the weekend was Bush's Brain...yeah! Politics! So manly! Convinced? I won't go into too much detail about this one other than to say that Karl Rove freaking scares me. I don't know how many of the claims in that movie can be proven...but, let's just say that I am not going to be writing anything bad about him specifically for fear of being put in prison. If you enjoy politics and you find Bush 2's success puzzling, you might enjoy this film. It's short, too...only 80 minutes.
The rest of my weekend involved youth club stuff, church, sushi and Franco madness for Mother's Day. Good times.
Friday, May 06, 2005
The Colon Killah
Remember my first wife, Kate Stelnick? Remember how she man-handled that beast in under 3 hours? I think the folks over at Denny's (not the chain) felt the need to go back to the drawing board after that embarrassment. I know Albert has already posted about this yesterday...but I saw this great picture of it on washingtonpost.com that I had to put up:
The dude holding it is the chef.
They practically doubled the burger that Kate so deftly consumed.
Hindus be freaking out, yo!
The dude holding it is the chef.
They practically doubled the burger that Kate so deftly consumed.
Hindus be freaking out, yo!
I'm Okay (I Promise)
In light of Napping's heartfelt parental tribute and a email today from my mom expressing concern about my situation, I felt the need to clear some things up.
• I am not actually married...it just feels like it sometimes.
• My car repairs are not going to cost $2000...at least I hope not.
• Though the sleeping stats are correct, it is not as bad as I make it sound
• If I needed anything at all, my parents would gladly give it to me
So the whole pool thing is actually just a joke and is not meant to suggest, as my mom feared it would, that I am "a poor orphan without parents." Truth be told, both my mom and my dad are two of the most amazing human beings I know. They love me so much and so unconditionally that it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.
I think it really hit me when I was in college and came to be very close friends with a number of people. As my friendships grew, I was able to get a glimpse at other people's relationships with their parents. I was shocked to learn that not everyone was as lucky as I was in terms of parental dynamics. Much of this probably had to do with cultural factors. Nevertheless, it was extremely eye-opening for me. I came to appreciate my parents so much more when I realized what a significant blessing they were.
It wasn't until my last romantic relationship that I realized they had given me another gift. Because of the way they showed me so much love, I was able to do the same for other people. It just felt natural to me. I didn't have any reservations about completely giving my heart over to someone like you would normally expect. This got me into some trouble in my earlier years, but it really paid off in the later ones.
My mom would always say to me when I was young, "You better marry someone who likes affection." While nothing more true has ever been said, I am also going to make sure that whoever I marry knows how to return that affection...both to me and to our kids. I am going to make sure that my kids get as much love as I did from both me and my wife.
How did this go from talking about my car to this?
• I am not actually married...it just feels like it sometimes.
• My car repairs are not going to cost $2000...at least I hope not.
• Though the sleeping stats are correct, it is not as bad as I make it sound
• If I needed anything at all, my parents would gladly give it to me
So the whole pool thing is actually just a joke and is not meant to suggest, as my mom feared it would, that I am "a poor orphan without parents." Truth be told, both my mom and my dad are two of the most amazing human beings I know. They love me so much and so unconditionally that it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.
I think it really hit me when I was in college and came to be very close friends with a number of people. As my friendships grew, I was able to get a glimpse at other people's relationships with their parents. I was shocked to learn that not everyone was as lucky as I was in terms of parental dynamics. Much of this probably had to do with cultural factors. Nevertheless, it was extremely eye-opening for me. I came to appreciate my parents so much more when I realized what a significant blessing they were.
It wasn't until my last romantic relationship that I realized they had given me another gift. Because of the way they showed me so much love, I was able to do the same for other people. It just felt natural to me. I didn't have any reservations about completely giving my heart over to someone like you would normally expect. This got me into some trouble in my earlier years, but it really paid off in the later ones.
My mom would always say to me when I was young, "You better marry someone who likes affection." While nothing more true has ever been said, I am also going to make sure that whoever I marry knows how to return that affection...both to me and to our kids. I am going to make sure that my kids get as much love as I did from both me and my wife.
How did this go from talking about my car to this?
Thursday, May 05, 2005
5s are wild
It's 5:55 p.m. on 05/05/05...quick, go listen to the "Jackson 5"...or "Five for Fighting" or "5:1"...props to anyone who knows that last one.
I think I found my wife (Part 4)
This time, it's for real.
In the words of Alanis, "Thank you, India."
In the words of Alanis, "Thank you, India."
Cinco de Mayo
Today we celebrate the Mexican eagle's victory over the French snake as pictured on the Mexican flag. Just kidding. But it is actually the celebration of the Mexican victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. It is also an excuse for Mexicans and Americans alike to drink vast quantities of Corona.
We here at Café con Leche would like to encourage you to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in a different way this year by taking part in the pool to fix my car. Hopefully, this will turn into a yearly tradition and I can finally fulfill my dream of never having to pay for anything else again in my life. I know you are all sick of my pathetic attempts to procure both your sympathy and your money with all these car posts but, come on...do it for mama.
I love you all so much it hurts. You can make checks payable to either "Sean McDonell" or "Doyle Sharp"...and remember...in the words of V.I. Lenin: "Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a Bolshevik forever."
We here at Café con Leche would like to encourage you to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in a different way this year by taking part in the pool to fix my car. Hopefully, this will turn into a yearly tradition and I can finally fulfill my dream of never having to pay for anything else again in my life. I know you are all sick of my pathetic attempts to procure both your sympathy and your money with all these car posts but, come on...do it for mama.
I love you all so much it hurts. You can make checks payable to either "Sean McDonell" or "Doyle Sharp"...and remember...in the words of V.I. Lenin: "Give us the child for 8 years and it will be a Bolshevik forever."
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Fix Sean's Car
I thought of this great idea. I start up a pool where each person can buy a square on a grid with 30 total squares. Each square will cost $100 and whoever has the square that corresponds to the day of the month that I get my car back will win $1000 and the other $2000 will go towards the bill for my repairs. If it gets fixed on the 31st I get the whole $3000. Anyone interested?
I thought of this other great idea. I go chain myself to a post and people beat me unmerciful with blunt objects until I forget all about my car problems.
That second one is the more probable of the two.
I thought of this other great idea. I go chain myself to a post and people beat me unmerciful with blunt objects until I forget all about my car problems.
That second one is the more probable of the two.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Vehicular Purgatory
Famous last words of Doyle Sharp, mechanic extraordinaire: "You'll have your car tomorrow."
That was last Monday night.
I have slept in my own bed 3 out of the last 11 nights...a hotel bed 1 out of 11...a couch 5 out of 11...and a floor 2 out of 11. Good times.
That was last Monday night.
I have slept in my own bed 3 out of the last 11 nights...a hotel bed 1 out of 11...a couch 5 out of 11...and a floor 2 out of 11. Good times.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Coachella 2005 Recap
Wow. I was a bit apprehensive about whether or not this year's lineup could hold its own against last year...but I think the '05 crew met the challenge. The foursome from last year of Mike D, Alex, the Keekster and myself suffered two casualties (i.e. wuss-outs) so it was just me and KiKi this year...and let me tell you...we BROUGHT IT!
I had a bit of time at the end of the day on Friday to burn a couple mix CDs for the drive since Keek's car doesn't have a tape deck therefore I could not play my iPod. Since we didn't have to pitch a tent in 100+ degree weather before entering the venue this year, we were able to cruise into the resort at about noon and let the front desk know we were there before making our way to the polo grounds. This place is nice....expensive, but nice.
Even though we left for the show around 1:30ish and only had a little over 5 miles to drive, it still took us about 2 hours to actually get in the front gate. We still got in before Snow Patrol started their set followed by Keane...it was kind of like KROQ's Almost Acoustic Xmas only substantially warmer.
Then came Wilco. These guys blew me away...so clean. I am so glad that they had to pull out of last year's show because I don't think I would have appreciated their set nearly as much as I did. One of the highlights for me was the knowing nod I got from another fan as I was blathering on about how good they were. Thank you, random chick, whoever you were...thank you very much.
Next was Weezer. I have wanted to see these guys since my senior year in high school. The 11 year wait [gasp] was well worth it. Rather than make the long trek over to the Mojave tent to see Bloc Party, we opted to just stay where we were and suffer through Bauhaus' set and save some energy for day two. Looking back, we probably should have gone. I got the sense that the Swedes in the crowd were loving it...I was just scared, confused and occasionally stepped on.
It still didn't dampen the mood since Coldplay came on afterwards. I had heard rumors that they were amazing live. Those rumors were confirmed on Saturday night. What a beautiful performance. Chris on the piano was like Yo-Yo Ma on the cello...okay, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration...but you get the idea. I don't know if Gwyneth and Apple made it out for the show, but Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz sure did, as Keek was eager to point out when we literally almost bumped into them. Good times.
And that brought day one to a close. The difference a good night's sleep on a swanky hotel bed after a cold shower compared to a couple hours of sleep in a janky tent with no shower is mind-numbing. Needless to say, we were feeling brand new heading into day two.
We timed our arrival so as not to miss one second of Jem's set. I saw her last year at the Roxy with B.A.K. and her stage presence and overall sound has definitely gotten better. It's not that she was bad back in L.A....you could just tell she was a little nervous. She seemed to feel right at home Sunday and my crush on her has now jumped her up to "amores locos" status.
cheeky monkey
The surprise hit of the weekend was M.I.A. Great energy, huge crowd response and easy on the eyes...and she's Sri Lankan. How cool is that? It was a short walk from the Gobi tent to the Mojave tent to catch The Bravery's set...and a good one at that. Props to Keeks for turning me on to these guys. Regardless of Killers front man Brandon Flowers' playah hatin', these guys are good in their own respect. I'm just glad I was able to appreciate the set having heard about them far enough in advance of the show. I missed the Killers' set last year because I didn't even know who they were. Still smarting from that one.
Sam and crew went a little long so I wasn't able to catch any of Tegan and Sara's performance (sorry I can't give you a review, Tequila). Ah the price of having too much talent in one place. C'est la vie. I did not, however, miss any of Arcade Fire's set. These were the guys I was the most excited to see and they did not disappoint. If you ever get a chance to see them, do it. There was stage diving and rafter climbing. Awesome.
New Order was good, but played mostly stuff I didn't know. There was some "Bizarre Love Triangle" though...gotta love the "Bizarre Love Triangle."
Then came Mr. Reznor. That guy knows how to perform. When they played "Head Like A Hole" I felt like for a brief moment, it was actually cool to be goth. Still there is no way you could have made me wear black clothing in Indio...even if it was much cooler than last year...uh uh...no way. I think Trent tried to find as many people that looked like him to play with him. They kept cutting to one of the guitar players on the big screen and the guy looked like he could have been related. Then at the end of the set, he smashed his guitar into the amp. Sweet. There really isn't enough of that blatant disregard for instruments and equipment anymore at concerts. Bravo pseudo-Trent...Bravo.
Amazingly, we still had enough energy to catch most of The Prodigy. Keek and I tried to count how many times they screamed things like, "How you doin', Coachella!?" but we lost count after half a dozen or so...actually we never counted. I just made that up...but he did say stuff like that a lot. They put on a pretty good show, too...screaming and all. Some of those fans are a little out there though, if you know what I mean...and I think you do.
So the weekend was awesome. Except for the part when we pulled over right before Casino Morongo and I puked up the burrito I had for dinner. That part pretty much sucked. And the fact that I still don't have my car. The rest: awesome. Who's going with me next year?
I had a bit of time at the end of the day on Friday to burn a couple mix CDs for the drive since Keek's car doesn't have a tape deck therefore I could not play my iPod. Since we didn't have to pitch a tent in 100+ degree weather before entering the venue this year, we were able to cruise into the resort at about noon and let the front desk know we were there before making our way to the polo grounds. This place is nice....expensive, but nice.
Even though we left for the show around 1:30ish and only had a little over 5 miles to drive, it still took us about 2 hours to actually get in the front gate. We still got in before Snow Patrol started their set followed by Keane...it was kind of like KROQ's Almost Acoustic Xmas only substantially warmer.
Then came Wilco. These guys blew me away...so clean. I am so glad that they had to pull out of last year's show because I don't think I would have appreciated their set nearly as much as I did. One of the highlights for me was the knowing nod I got from another fan as I was blathering on about how good they were. Thank you, random chick, whoever you were...thank you very much.
Next was Weezer. I have wanted to see these guys since my senior year in high school. The 11 year wait [gasp] was well worth it. Rather than make the long trek over to the Mojave tent to see Bloc Party, we opted to just stay where we were and suffer through Bauhaus' set and save some energy for day two. Looking back, we probably should have gone. I got the sense that the Swedes in the crowd were loving it...I was just scared, confused and occasionally stepped on.
It still didn't dampen the mood since Coldplay came on afterwards. I had heard rumors that they were amazing live. Those rumors were confirmed on Saturday night. What a beautiful performance. Chris on the piano was like Yo-Yo Ma on the cello...okay, that might be a little bit of an exaggeration...but you get the idea. I don't know if Gwyneth and Apple made it out for the show, but Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz sure did, as Keek was eager to point out when we literally almost bumped into them. Good times.
And that brought day one to a close. The difference a good night's sleep on a swanky hotel bed after a cold shower compared to a couple hours of sleep in a janky tent with no shower is mind-numbing. Needless to say, we were feeling brand new heading into day two.
We timed our arrival so as not to miss one second of Jem's set. I saw her last year at the Roxy with B.A.K. and her stage presence and overall sound has definitely gotten better. It's not that she was bad back in L.A....you could just tell she was a little nervous. She seemed to feel right at home Sunday and my crush on her has now jumped her up to "amores locos" status.
cheeky monkey
The surprise hit of the weekend was M.I.A. Great energy, huge crowd response and easy on the eyes...and she's Sri Lankan. How cool is that? It was a short walk from the Gobi tent to the Mojave tent to catch The Bravery's set...and a good one at that. Props to Keeks for turning me on to these guys. Regardless of Killers front man Brandon Flowers' playah hatin', these guys are good in their own respect. I'm just glad I was able to appreciate the set having heard about them far enough in advance of the show. I missed the Killers' set last year because I didn't even know who they were. Still smarting from that one.
Sam and crew went a little long so I wasn't able to catch any of Tegan and Sara's performance (sorry I can't give you a review, Tequila). Ah the price of having too much talent in one place. C'est la vie. I did not, however, miss any of Arcade Fire's set. These were the guys I was the most excited to see and they did not disappoint. If you ever get a chance to see them, do it. There was stage diving and rafter climbing. Awesome.
New Order was good, but played mostly stuff I didn't know. There was some "Bizarre Love Triangle" though...gotta love the "Bizarre Love Triangle."
Then came Mr. Reznor. That guy knows how to perform. When they played "Head Like A Hole" I felt like for a brief moment, it was actually cool to be goth. Still there is no way you could have made me wear black clothing in Indio...even if it was much cooler than last year...uh uh...no way. I think Trent tried to find as many people that looked like him to play with him. They kept cutting to one of the guitar players on the big screen and the guy looked like he could have been related. Then at the end of the set, he smashed his guitar into the amp. Sweet. There really isn't enough of that blatant disregard for instruments and equipment anymore at concerts. Bravo pseudo-Trent...Bravo.
Amazingly, we still had enough energy to catch most of The Prodigy. Keek and I tried to count how many times they screamed things like, "How you doin', Coachella!?" but we lost count after half a dozen or so...actually we never counted. I just made that up...but he did say stuff like that a lot. They put on a pretty good show, too...screaming and all. Some of those fans are a little out there though, if you know what I mean...and I think you do.
So the weekend was awesome. Except for the part when we pulled over right before Casino Morongo and I puked up the burrito I had for dinner. That part pretty much sucked. And the fact that I still don't have my car. The rest: awesome. Who's going with me next year?
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