Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

Hold all my calls. I am going on my first cruise ever tomorrow through Friday. I have no idea if they have internet on the ship (I doubt it) but, if they do, you can bet I'll be posting. Otherwise, have fun at work this week. When you are struggling through your Wednesday just drooling at the thought of the upcoming three day weekend, say a little prayer for me that I am not lying somewhere left for dead in Mexico or holed up in my cabin with some airborne viral infection vomiting my diseased stomach contents while praying for death. Peace.


"Love...exciting and new..."

Numbers

# of days my car has been at Doyle's: 60
# of working days my car has been at Doyle's: 43
# of days next week I will be on vacation: 5
# of mechanics my car will have been to after next week: 3
# of times my car will have been towed in the last 2 months: 3
# of cars I have borrowed from friends: 2
# of times Doyle has called me vs. me calling him: 0

# of nieces who will be making me smile all through my vacation: 1


"Cut my milk."

My Sassy Girl: A Review

I watched this movie last night with Huge and his fiancée. I couldn't help but post about it. I don't know what it is about Korean melodramas that do it for me. I suppose having made a number of deep and meaningful friendships throughout college with Koreans and getting a chance to see more of their culture has developed something of an affinity for them in me. I'm sure it helped that I dated a Korean for two years. If that doesn't immerse you in a culture, I don't know what does.

The film is about a guy and a girl who meet and over time become friends. There is mutual attraction between them both but, the girl has a hard time letting go of her past relationship. I won't give away the whole thing since I really think you should see it if you have the chance. It has subtitles but, that is a small price to pay for this viewing delight. The guy in the movie is great and the girl is absolutely adorable...not just in physical appearance but her personality as well as the title suggests. There are a number of laugh-out-loud moments along with emotionally moving scenes. All in all, a truly enjoyable film.

At the risk of getting all personal and stuff, I think a big reason I liked this movie as much as I did was because it brought back memories, both good and bad, from my past. There are things I miss about being in a relationship and things I don't...but, most of all, I miss those little moments when you can look another person in the eyes and just know what they are thinking and they know what you are thinking. It's a dangerous thing to allow yourself to get to that level of vulnerability. While it does make room for unimaginable amounts of joy, it can also lead to immense pain. Some people see this choice and guard their hearts so as to prevent the pain and consequently lose out on the chance for the joy. This choice denies you of ever having love because, as someone once said, "You have not truly loved until you have loved and lost." I have done both. The challenge for me now is to overcome the fear of a potential revisiting of that pain. This is not an easy challenge.

"It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." -Alfred, Lord Tennyson


"Joo Guh Leh?"

The Real World: Austin

Oh. My. God.

I could never out do B-Side so I won't even try to give you a recap....just read this.

You want me to what now?

WORK?!

The past couple days have brought an unprecedented amount of work to my desk which has prevented me from giving the CCL readers the mid-day posts they have come to expect. I anticipate this trend will continue indefinitely as our department has lost one of its three members. I will still try and post as often as I can but, cannot guarantee a post every day. I know many of you are probably racking your brains for any possible clue as to why I would even entertain the impossible notion that you might actually care about this any more than if a bug died somewhere in Southeast Asia. I promise you I have no such delusions of grandeur. I was just giving you a heads up so I could count this as my post for today.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Hypocrisy Watch 2005: Freedom of Religion at Gitmo

I am still behind on my press briefings reading. As luck would have it, my slow progress allowed me to make in interesting discovery that I probably would have overlooked had I read the May 13th briefing by McClellan back in May as opposed to last week.

When asked about the protests in various countries after the Newsweek Koran-in-the-toilet article, McClellan had this to say:

"Well, Secretary Rice spoke to this issue yesterday and I think made our views very clear. One of the values that we hold most dearly here in the United States is religious freedom and the ability of people to be able to worship freely. As Secretary Rice made clear yesterday, disrespect for the holy Koran is something that the Unites States will never tolerate.

"Now, in terms of the allegation that was made, that's something we take very seriously, too. And the Department of Defense is looking into it. I would also point out, though, that for these detainees at Guantanamo Bay, they are provided the opportunity to worship freely, including being given copies of the Koran so that they may worship freely.

"And we want Muslims around the world to know that we share and understand the concerns that they have. We are also saddened about the loss of life because of these demonstrations turning violent. And we would call on all our friends, as Secretary Rice did yesterday, to reject the incitement to violence by those who would mischaracterize the views and the values of the United States of America, because freedom of religion is one of the values we hold very dearly in this country."

I wonder if Scott hears The Star-Spangled Banner playing in his head when he goes on little rants like this. Anyway, I just happened to read this little quote right after having read an article by Adam Zagorin and Michael Duffy in the June 20th issue of Time Magazine about Mohammed al-Qahtani's stay at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba called "Inside the Interrogation of Detainee 063" while I was getting an oil change at Jiffy Lube. One paragraph in particular stood out from this article in light of McClellan's May 13th response at the briefing. I would give you a link but it wouldn't work since you have to pay to read Time articles. Here's the quote:

"A secondary battle appears to be under way over Ramadan. At various points during the Muslim holy month, al-Qahtani claims to be either on a hunger strike, refusing all food and water, or fasting during daylight hours, as Ramadan requires. According to the log, the interrogators tell al-Qahtani he cannot pray--a religious obligation--unless he disregards another by accepting water. So he declines to pray."

So when Scott says that detainees "are provided the opportunity to worship freely," he fails to mention that in order to do so, they have to break some of their other laws. Hmm. That isn't quite freedom of religion in my book. Then again, if my religion told me to go fly a plane into a building full of innocent people, I really wouldn't be surprised if someone denied me that freedom. Again, I say hmm.

Off The Market

"I...I...I like little girls, they make me feel so..."

Today is a sad sad day. Click on the picture for the article...or don't. I don't care.

Katie,

I guess this means it's over between us. Not only are you engaged to an insane allegedly gay man but, you are also "embracing" his insanity and making it your own. There are many things that I can tolerate in a relationship...but that is not one of them. You are dead to me. May God have mercy on your soul.

Regards,

Sean

Effective immediately, Ms. Holmes has lost her "Amores Locos" status. All the better since that makes room for the lovely and talented Ms. Garcés. Rawr.


And she's even older than me. Noice.

What If? Vol. II

Bored? Wishing it was Friday like me? Here is some daydream material:

• What if Michael Jackson was innocent? Oh...nevermind.

• What if California broke away from the rest of the country in a massive earthquake? Would that make Arnold our President?

• What if fire was cold and ice was hot? Would all our cold drinks be flaming drinks? Would we put ice cubes in our tea?

• What if we all had telekinetic powers? Would we evolve until we didn't have vocal chords?

• What if marshmallows tasted salty? Weird.

• What if the earth stopped rotating on its axis and the western hemisphere was in permanent darkness? Would we all move to Asia?

• What if the U.S. became a tyrannical dictatorship? Would it kill off the Mexicans like Saddam killed the Kurds?

• What if getting tattoos was not painful? Would more people have them?

• What if Coke and Pepsi merged? Would they be called Poke or Cepsi?

• What if New York didn't smell like urine? Would even more people move there?

• What if every computer in the world crashed? Oh crap.

• What if Radiohead broke up? Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

• What if diamonds weren't actually as valuable as people charge for them? Wait a sec...

• What if Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes really are in love? Eww.

• What if all of a sudden it was as easy to grow crops in Africa as it is in the San Joaquin Valley? What would Sally Struthers do with her life?

• What if 1 was an unlucky number instead of 13? Would all the buildings skip that floor?

• What if you could stop time like that one Twilight Zone episode? That would be so sweet.

• What if you could go inside someone's mind like in Being John Malkovich? Whose mind would you most like to be in?

• What if Mexico was the wealthiest nation in North America? Would U.S. citizens try to enter illegally?

• What if Pearl Harbor never happened? The movie, not the actual event...that would be cool.

• What if Morrissey wasn't gay? Would women love him as much?

• What if Wheel of Fortune was still on before Jeopardy!? Boo.

Discuss.

Flight vs. Invisibility

One of the other things that I received as a gift this past birthday/Christmas (I can't remember which) was a dual This American Life CD called Crimebusters & Crossed Wires: Stories from This American Life. For those of you who don't know what TAL is, it's a weekly show that airs on WBEZ Chicago public radio and is replayed by other public radio stations around the country. KCRW is the LA station that picks it up. It's probably the greatest thing on the radio...no, definitely the greatest thing on the radio. Eventually, I want to make a documentary about my grandpa on my mom's side and when I do, I want Ira Glass to be the narrator. Anyway, on this CD there is a piece called "Flight vs. Invisibility" by John Hodgman where he goes around asking people whether they would rather be able to fly or be invisible. The piece originally aired on February 23rd, 2001 and you can listen to it on the TAL web site by typing "flight vs. invisibility" in the search window and selected the first of the 3 search results.

It starts out pretty ordinary. You get to hear a few people give their explanations on why they chose what they chose. Then somewhere towards the end, he hits on this amazingly insightful point. The question goes to the root of someone's character. One of the people he is interviewing has this to say about the subject:

"It all has to do with guile...wanting to be invisible means that you're a more guile-ful person, if you want to fly it means you're guileless and I think the reason that I'm so conflicted about flying versus invisibility is that I have guile but, I really wish that I didn't."

Another person breaks it down in this way:

"First of all, I think that a lot of people are going to tell you that they would choose flight and I think they're lying to you. I think they're saying that because they're trying to sound all mythic and heroic because the better angels of our nature would tell us that the real thing that we should strive for is flight and that that's noble and all that kind of stuff but, I think actually if everybody were being perfectly honest with you they would tell you the truth which is that they all want to be invisible so that they can shoplift, get into movies for free, go to exotic places on airplanes without paying for airline tickets and watch celebrities have sex."

When I first heard this piece, I was floored. It felt like they were reading my mind. I totally think this way. I thought about typing up some clever little segue into a question to you, the readers, asking you which you would prefer if you were honest with yourself but, I think Mr. Hodgman does a better job. Here's how he ends his piece and Act One of the February broadcast:

"In the end it's not a question of what kind of person flies and what kind of person fades. We all do both. Perhaps that's why, when I put the choice to myself, I'm hopelessly completely stuck. At the heart of this decision, the question I really don't want to face is this: Who do you want to be? The person you hope to be or the person you fear you actually are? Don't rush into it. Think it over. Which would you choose?

Not that we didn't know this already...

I was catching up on my reading the other night when I came across something troubling yet far from surprising. I got Woodward's Plan Of Attack for my birthday last year and got through half of it before being pulled away by other page-turners (Thanks, Mike). I have been reading bits and pieces of the second half here and there (read: on the can) and have finally finished all but the last hundred pages or so. I try not to post large chunks of other publications, song lyrics or web sites since I can easily link to them and give you, the readers, the option of reading it or not reading it, depending on your interest level. I am going to break that unwritten rule with this post since 1) I don't know of any way to post a link to it, 2) it is fairly interesting and 3) I want to work on my typing skills. This is from the last part of Chapter 32:

"AS I HAD BEEN interviewing various officials and sources during the buildup to war, three separate sources said confidentially that the intelligence on WMD was not as conclusive as the CIA and the administration had suggested. This was troubling, particularly on what seemed to be the eve of war. I spoke with Walter Pincus, a colleague at The Washington Post, who had written extensively about the weapons inspections and intelligence in Iraq. Pincus said that he had heard precisely the same thing from a number of his sources. So I drafted the following five paragraphs for a possible news story and hand-carried a copy to Pincus and the national security editor at the Post:

'Some of the key U.S. intelligence that is the basis for the conclusion that Iraq has large caches of weapons of mass destruction look increasingly circumstantial, and even shaky as it is further scrutinized, subjected to outside analysis and on-the-ground verification, according to informed sources.

'A senior Bush administration source briefed last month on the intelligence said it was "pretty thin," and might be enough to reach the legal standard of "probable cause" to bring an indictment but not enough for conviction.

'Intelligence from overhead satellite photography and imagery, another senior administration official said, provides vivid pictures of Iraqis moving material. "We've seen them bury things," this official said, "dig them up, open the doors, and take away what was in it in special containers. We've seen a lot."

'Asked if the U.S. intelligence knew what was in the special containers, the official said, "No. But they sure are careful about it."

'The official said that the administration did not want a smoking gun--irrefutable proof. "The whole intent of 1441 and the way it was written was that it keep the burden off of us."'

"I also gave Pincus a copy of a letter that Tenet had written to Senator John Warner, the Armed Services Committee chairman, saying that the intelligence agencies had given the U.N. weapons inspectors 'detailed information on all of the high value and moderate value sites' that were suspected of having connections to WMD.

"Pincus and the national security editor both thought my draft version a little strong. I agreed. Though the sources were excellent, they were only saying the evidence was skimpy. None were asserting that WMD would not be found in Iraq after a war. Pincus rightly wanted to focus on the inability of the U.S. intelligence agencies to provide specific information about amounts or locations of WMD in Iraq. He wrote a story that was published Sunday, March 16, on page A17 headlined, 'U.S. Lacks Specifics on Banned Arms.' I was listed as having contributed to his story.

"Even now I cannot disclose the identities of the sources. But I did not feel I had enough information to effectively challenge the official conclusions about Iraq's alleged WMD. In light of subsequent events, I should have pushed for a front page story, even on the eve of war, presenting more forcefully what our sources were saying. Several of these sources, I know, did voice their reservations within their various organizations but they also did not have enough to robustly challenge the conclusions that had already been reached. I have no evidence that the reservations of these particular sources reached the president."

After I read this, I flushed and then cried. Not really...but I wanted to....cry, that is. I really did flush.

You gotta be kiddin' me

There is something just not right about this.

On the other hand, there is something VERY right about this.

This, however, is so incredibly wrong and sad and makes me want to wear titanium boxers.

Billy Bush Boycotts Brangelina's Ban

How's that for alliteration?

I have to admit that I was a bit confused/amused to come across this article. I am still not sure what was more confusing/amusing...the fact that Billy Bush is being heralded as a defender of the media, the fact that Billy Bush has a blog, or the fact that Billy Bush is suggesting that he is NOT a tool. All these things: very confusing...very amusing.

Let's start with the first issue. By refusing to sign the interview agreements sent out to the media by Jolie's lawyer and Pitt's publicist, Bush was denied access to the Mr. and Mrs. Smith press junket. Apparently, Billy has chosen the terribly "relevant" news item that is Brad and Angelina's love life to prove a point: You can't tell entertainment reporters what questions they can and can't ask. He accuses other media outlets who did sign the agreement of "sacrificing their principle, their dignity and..their relevance." Oh my heavens! Entertainment Tonight and Extra are no longer relevant? This is tragic. If they are not relevant, what does that make all the people who watch those shows and live and die by the juicy little insights into stars' lives? Please don't tell me that those people have been wasting their time. I just don't know what I would do if that were true. Thank God we still have Access Hollywood, the last bastion of integrity in the world of entertainment news. Phew. That was a close one, folks.

Second issue: Billy Bush has a blog. I suppose for me to make fun of someone who has a blog would be a bit hypocritical of me...but, on the other hand, it is Billy Bush. It is almost as hard for me not to make fun of Billy Bush as it is for me to not make fun of Ryan Seacrest. Come on...to quote Mia Wallace, "That would be an exercise in futility." After reading his riveting June 9th entry about the whole Brangelina thing, I decided to skim over some of his other entries. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever find such a goldmine of hilarious quotes. I encourage you to read it sometime and imagine Billy saying things like "We should have called the Grammy's the Slammy's on tonight's show because the performances were out of this world" and "I'm still not used to being a public figure, and truth be told, I'm no Tom Cruise" and "I don't love reporting on celebrity break-ups and some of the more trivial aspects of entertainment...unless it's so absurd that we're laughing together" with a straight face. I dare you...just try it. You will soil yourself.

This all brings me to my last confusing/amusing claim: Billy is NOT a tool. He claims in the June 9th entry of his blog that "to sign that agreement is to present yourself as a tool." I realize that he is using the word "tool" in the literal sense meaning that those who sign would effectively allow Brad and Angelina to manipulate the outcome of the interviews so as to serve their purpose as opposed to open the door for a "truly personal and honest" interaction with the interviewer. Now let me get this straight. If you report on stars and other celebrities and all the gossip and goings on in their lives and purport to it to be "relevant" but do so without signing any sort of agreement restricting you from asking questions about what they deem personal and off-limits, then you are NOT a tool? Hey Billy, I've got a news flash for you: Entertainment Tonight, Extra and even Access Hollywood are all one big enormous collective TOOL! You serve one purpose: to make money off of society's ridiculous obsession with fame. You are not a legitimate news source...you are fluff. You are to celebrities what pornography is to sex. You are the very essence of vicariousness.

Now to address the other use of the word "tool." I challenge Billy to watch film clips of himself on the red carpet or the Miss Universe pageant or wherever his ubiquitous face turns up and claim on a witness stand before God and the world that he is NOT a tool. Just look at yourself, man! When people look up "tool" in the dictionary, they find your picture:


tool (tool) n.
1. A device, such as a saw, used to perform or facilitate manual or mechanical work.
2. A person used to carry out the designs of another, a dupe.
Synonyms: Ryan Seacrest, Billy Bush (pictured), Justin Timberlake.

Can I get an Amen? Boycott Billy.

The Café con Leche Awards: The Magnificent Mike D

Today is a good day. Do you know why? "Because it's Friday" you say. Partly. "Because you are going to the Dodger game tonight" you say. Also partly. No, above all else, today is a good day because it is the first full day that I have access to a car indefinitely. No, not my car...that's just crazy talk...Mike D has graciously allowed me to use his old car for as long as I need until I can figure out what in the world is wrong with mine. Words cannot express how truly grateful I am for this magnanimous act of kindness.

I would write a bunch of stuff about Mike in order to inflate his ego...but, on second thought, you might all just take it the wrong way despite all my posts about my future wives.

I will say that he can cook and that he owns more than one striped shirt...so if that does it for you ladies, I can probably arrange for some sort of meeting once you have gone through my screening process.

All flattery aside, let's raise a glass and salute Sean's favorite humanitarian. Thanks again, Mikey. You complete me.

Free Katie

Much thanks to The Napster for showing me this web site. I don't know if she saw it on BWE or not but, they seem to have discovered it as well. Interestingly enough, I actually considered posting about Scientology today but decided not to because I didn't know enough about it and I was afraid that they might come after me and ruin my life. They have already taken Katie away from me so I am going to avoid anything that might piss them off.

Whoever created this web site deserves a humanitarian award or something. "Your indifference make you part of the problem." It is so inspiring to see someone challenge the apathy and listlessness that has crippled our society so much so that we are willing to let a 42 year old insane person (see Oprah clip) brainwash a poor innocent little 25 year old girl who is only 13 years older than his adopted daughter. I don't know about you but I think she should be closer in age to him than to his daughter just as a general rule. She doesn't even pass the Mike D "Half Your Age Plus 7 years" test. We as a society cannot let this happen no matter how many Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta-Jones, Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher or James Woods/[insert any young hot actress over the age of 18's name here] relationships we have let desensitize us. I don't know what's creepier, their age difference or the fact that Tom follows a cult that thinks "their bodies are inhabited by the wandering souls of fried space aliens." FRIED SPACE ALIENS?! They couldn't just keep it marginally unbelievable by sticking to your normal run-of-the-mill aliens...they had to go with FRIED space aliens. Okay, I need to stop...I said I wouldn't talk about Scientology so I won't. They are plotting my doom as we speak I just know it. If I go missing you should probably find out where the electronic mountain trap they are holding the evil alien Xenu is since they will most likely keep me there, too.

Pimp This Ride

I think I found my new car. Check it:


"The Sean"

It's battery operated and goes up to 120 kph. Hott. Kinda reminds me of "The Homer"...don't you think?


"The Homer"

Days since I last drove my car: 47

We have now surpassed the time it took God to flood the entire earth. Awesome!

The Boys Are Back In Town

The other morning before I went to work I turned on MTV or VH1 or one of those channels and was immediately made aware of a shocking turn of events: The Backstreet Boys are Back. I didn't think this was even possible since all of their original fans are now in their 30's and recognize them for the tools that they truly are but, I suppose there is a new generation of naïve schoolgirls that they can hide their age as well as their tool status from long enough to make some money to support their drug/alcohol/[insert appropriate vice here] habits.

If there is anything that I hate more than The Backstreet Boys' music it would have to be their videos. It is almost as if they asked their director to make the videos look as much like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie as possible. Let's take a look at their most recent gem for their single "Incomplete"…which you can view here if you really want to make your eyes bleed. I have saved you the trouble (and potential loss of all dignity and self worth) by giving you a recap with a few screen shots of the Boys in action. Enjoy?


"I'm still a boy, but I scowl like a man."

The video starts harmless enough with various shots like the one above of the Boys trying to look hard or concerned or angry or in anguish or stern or constipated or….well, you get the idea. However, as the lyrics move towards the message of the song which is something like "I'm incomplete without you" or some other remarkably original idea like that, the action picks up rather quickly and the first Boy is all too ready to fall to his knees and raise his hands (which are full of sand) to the air and release his cargo as if to wave off the F-18s before they launch their missiles into Alcatraz and kill all the innocent hostages that the crazy ex-General has imprisoned while threatening to release VX gas on San Francisco.


"Paaaaariiiiissssss!"

Shortly after this fall to the knees, said Boy decides to get up and for some reason spread his arms and bob his head like a chicken as he does so. It is almost worth watching the video just to see this confusing choice of direction by said Boy. This picture doesn't really do the move justice, but it's the best I could do.


baaaaawk!

The ridiculous displays of emotion continue when other Boy chooses to express his true feelings by, you guessed it, falling to his knees and pounding the sand with his fist. Powerful.


oh, the anguish!

Though this next picture may look like tattoo/beanie Boy is making a little field goal with his hands for some other Boy to kick a folded up paper football through, what is really happening is that he is singing and feels the need to point both fingers to the sky to convey a sense of importance to what he is saying. This is usually a technique employed while conversing with another person rather than while singing to an imaginary person who you and your four friends are all incomplete without but, it wouldn't be the first time a music video made no sense whatsoever now would it?


hut, hut, hike!

As if the falls to the knees, playing with sand and nonsensical pointing weren't enough to tell the viewer that these Boys are really hurting, the intensity really kicks into high gear when the huge fan is turned on and the leaves begin to blow. It's hard to see the leaves in the picture but, tattoo/beanie Boy's flying scarf is hard to miss.


Incomplete...and windblown

The huge fan is a great move and really adds to the overall feel of the video…but it just wouldn't be Bruckheimer caliber without…wait for it…a car fire. Yah! That's the ticket.


Car fire at a gas station. Sing or run for my life? Methinks I'll sing.

No, wait! What if the car fire spreads to a…uh…uh….a bike! Yah! A bike. That's what I'm talking about.


I got a fever and the only prescription is more fire!

Then, for some inexplicable reason, Michael Jackson wannabe Boy decides that now would be a good time to strike a pose and trace his thumb and forefinger around the brim of his hat. I don't know how this tells us he is incomplete but I am past the point of asking those types of questions…actually, no I'm not…I am going to continue asking them.


Smooth criminal or Boy in pain? You decide.

We've got wind…we've got fires…how about some snow? Works for me.


Don't mistake that grimace for a smile

Meanwhile, back at the Neverland Ranch, Michael Jackson wannabe Boy finishes his tribute to the King of Pop:


Hee hee! Sham-oh!

Just when you thought the "fall to your knees and raise your hands full of sand and slowly let the sand fall to the ground" move was already used and therefore could not be repeated, tattoo/beanie Boy brings it back with a heartfelt reprise:


"King Kong ain't got nothin' on me!"

Check back on the Boys playing with the huge fan and we find one of them has decided to make no attempt to hide his blatant mimicking of Michael Jackson by letting his shirt flail behind him as he faces directly into the fan. Awesome.


"...the final countdown..duh-duh duh duh...duh-duh duh-duh-duh."

And, of course, the obligatory ending where all five of them walk down the road in slow motion and the music ends with the soft playing of the piano. So touching…so real…so hott!


Incomplete...and without transportation

The Backstreet Boys are Back…and this time, they're not messing around. Recognize.

It's for my cataracts

I am going to preface this post by putting my parents' minds to rest and assuring them that I do not smoke pot (or weed, grass, doobies...whatever you guys called it back then). I don't plan to if it becomes legal either. This is just me pandering to my Green Party readership.

That being said, I noticed the lead story in The Washington Post today was about medical marijuana. Specifically, it was about the Supreme Court's ruling "that the federal government has the power to prosecute the use of marijuana for medical purposes even in states that have enacted laws permitting it." It goes on about what the ruling does and does not do and it is all very fascinating from a state's rights debate perspective I'm sure. But that isn't what I want to talk about because you will all complain about how boring I am and I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection.

The thing that really struck me about this story was the irony of the situation. I find it interesting that the federal government wants so badly to prosecute medical marijuana users. Though the article does seem to suggest that the more likely reason the legal battle was so hard fought had more to do with making sure states that have passed medical marijuana laws are not allowed to become "laboratories" for other states, it makes sure to tell the story of two users who found themselves on the right side of the state law but the wrong side of the federal law. Both individuals weren't exactly your average stoners...one had cancer and the other had "severe chronic back pain and muscle spasms caused by a degenerative disease of the spine." I have had neither of these things (that I know of) but, I would imagine them to be not too pleasant.

I think if I saw someone going through a lot of pain and I was holding a dime bag, I would probably load them up a bowl. (Mom and Dad, I really do promise that I don't smoke pot...I just know people who do...that is how I know all this lingo) I would do so much in the same way that I would give my army buddy some morphine if he was shot in the leg by the VC while trying to secure a ridge. (Mom and Dad, I promise I wasn't in the Vietnam War either...I've just seen a lot of 'Nam movies) I guess the point I am trying to make is that I don't think marijuana is that big of a deal. I think it makes people act kind of stupid sometimes as evidenced by John Cho and Kal Penn but, I think alcohol does very much the same thing and worse as evidenced by seasons 1-15 of The Real World and every other show that has spawned from those seasons.

Why should people suffering tremendous pain be denied relief however socially unacceptable the means? What if all medicine was socially unacceptable? Would we go back into the Middle Ages where we used leeches as a remedy for illness? How about drilling holes in our scalps? That was a good one...we should definitely do that more. I am not trying to advocate drug use. I think drugs are a serious problem in this country that should not be ignored. I do not, however, think that it is a good use of our country's federal prosecutors to chase after old ladies with chronic back pain and cancer.

Let's look at a hypothetical. What if we just legalized marijuana? What is the most likely scenario? Reefer madness? I really don't think so. If you noticed my constant reminders to my parents that I don't smoke pot I am sure you realize that it is not merely because it is illegal. If I wanted to smoke pot, I very easily could do so. I choose not to for my own personal reasons. Do you really think that the country would fall apart if it was all of a sudden legal? My point is that the people who want to smoke pot do so regardless of the laws. If parents are worried about their kids smoking they should raise them right and hope that when they reach a certain age that they will make good decisions with their life. Truth be told, parents will probably prolong the life of their offspring by teaching their kids the dangers of alcohol and cigarettes more so than marijuana.

I guess I should just trust the politicians over the doctors because I am pretty sure they know more about what is good for people's health. After all, they probably went to three years of law school while the doctors only went to medical school...and everyone knows that med school is just a crock. Duh.

Before and After

I watch Jeopardy! every chance I get ever since I was a kid. I absolutely love the show. It was the thrill of a lifetime for me when my brother was on the show last year and I got to go to the live taping (He came in second). It is one of my lifelong dreams to one day compete as well although watching the ultimate tournament of champions the last few months really started to depress me because I saw how intellectually deficient I truly was next to these mental giants. Then again, if Ken Jennings can be beat who knows what can happen.

Anyway, one of my favorite recurring categories on the show is "Before and After" which they started featuring not too long ago. The clue sets up in such a way for the correct response to be a phrase whose ending portion is the beginning of the second part of the answer (e.g. Thomas Jefferson Airplane or Colossus of Rhodes Scholar). For some reason, whenever they have that category on the show the contestants seem to have a really good time with it as do I.

I thought I would try my hand at creating some of these just for fun and let you all compete (even though I already wasted two good ones on my examples). Here's the first round. Enjoy.

$200: Chuck Palahniuk book made into a movie starring Edward Norton and vacation empire started by Gérard Blitz in 1950.

$400: Rock Band most famous for their hit "Stacy's Mom" and where Batman's alter ego makes his bed.

$600: Recently revealed F.B.I. secret Woodward source "Deep Throat" and one alternative to the ball-point.

$800: Vatican locale famous for its frescoed ceiling and home to the 2005 NCAA Basketball Tournament Champions.

$1000: Ancient Egyptian artifact discovered late in the 18th century and mysterious English landmark of unknown origin.

Have a good weekend, everyone. The B.A.K. is taking me here on Sunday...You know you're jealous.

The Café con Leche Awards: Best Homemade Video Ever

Today's award goes to some guy named Sean. I don't know who he is or what he does, but he sure can make one funny video. I actually saw this on BWE a couple days ago and noticed that Scott linked to it today, but after watching it a few times I realized how truly wonderful it was and consequently how it needed to be properly adulated. Also, there may be some of you out there who don't check those two sites and you might have missed it...and that would be tragic. Here's the link:

Sean's Ridiculously Awesome Redux of Loverboy's "Working For The Weekend" Video

Here are some of my favorite screenshots:


Sean on bass


Sean on drums


Roadie-Sean


Sean on keys


Frontman Sean

The first time I tried to watch this it took forever to load so you may just want to let it sit for a while so you can watch it uninterrupted. I am pretty sure the guy is actually playing all the instruments correctly too...even though I am not a musician and have no basis for that statement other than the fact that he plays the drums along with the beat and picks the bass strings along with the base line. My favorite parts are probably the keyboardist's facial expressions, the bassist's backup vocals and the failed fog machine experiment.

This is probably one of the funniest things I have seen this year although Dane Cook making fun of Tom Cruise on Jimmy Kimmel was pretty freaking funny as well.

Guess what I get to see tonight

Wasn't he in "Newsies"?

Obsess Much?

I think the media is a "little" excited about this Deep Throat thing, don't you?

Actually, now is probably a good time to look for interesting news items that will most likely garner little or no attention because the media covers hot stories like 6 year olds play soccer.

Check out this article from the Village Voice. It's a good one and a little more relevant than the aforementioned obsession.